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Why You Should Get A Pet Monkey
- by theuglyone
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- August 28, 2009
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So what if having a pet monkey is like taking care of a toddler for 50 years? They just look so cute in their little monkey diapers. Here's why you need to drop everything and adopt your own!
They look cute in diapers.
They will attract women at the gym.
Screw the babies and puppies – Bring your monkey along, and all the women will be falling off their StairMasters.
Monkeys hate Dane Cook.
Finally, you won’t be the only one not laughing when your friends pop in their Dane Cook DVD Special after the bars on Saturday.
They are much smarter than babies.
They have superior hygiene.
They're not picky eaters.
"Monkey labor" sounds way more positive than "child labor."
U.A.P.P.E.A.L. Site
U.A.P.P.E.A.L. (Uniting A Proactive Primate And Exotic Animal League) is the best resource for those who are serious about adopting a fuzzy little primate.
Need to talk yourself out of it?
This party-pooper list has all sorts of reasons why it might be a bad idea to adopt a monkey. Be warned!
They will mesh with all your other pets.
...And on the bike paths.
(photo: break.com)
Get it together, baby! You have to peel that!
They don't require pricy soy products.
They won't tease you when you watch The Bachelorette.
Everybody loves a lover.
They look wonderful in taffeta.
Think of all the $$ these talented little guys could make you!
(photo: dailyhaha.com)
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WAIT, but don’t they also rip your face off?
.jpg "Susie")
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I know it’s not a popular opinion, but monkeys freak me out more than anything in life. I would be SO freaked out to have one in my house. I do have to admit some of these are kind of cute though… but creepy!
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