The Absolute Worst Kinds of City Neighbors

by aubreewyattsmith
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October 17, 2008
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They probably shouldn't have procreated, but they did, (a lot) and now they live upstairs. Their high school chorus teacher probably should have quashed their dreams of Broadway, but didn't have the heart. Their heart was in the right place when they rescued twelve large dogs from the pound, but now the inmates are clearly running the asylum. This is a "Worst Of" list that's near and not-at-all dear to many of our hearts...

The Neighbor Who Sings Well and Often

Yes, it’s beautiful. You have a real gift. Cheers. Are you in a show? Chorus at The Met? Mom and Dad did well to invest in lessons. That said, after hearing " O Mio Babbino Caro" for the 18th time since breakfast, it’s time to suggest sound-proofing and kiss the neighborly pleasantries adieu. Or perhaps rehearsal space? Really now…

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The Couple Who Shouldn't Be a Couple

You could chronicle their arguments verbatim. In fact, from everything you’ve heard, you’ve probably got more in common with him than she does. It really just boils down to two people who don’t seem to like each other at all and yet, live together, have two cats, a puppy, and an entire showroom of Pottery Barn furniture. You hope for their sake and for yours that they seek couples therapy or simply throw in the precious, monogrammed towels.

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The Neighbor You Dated...

…And it didn’t end well. It seemed so perfect at the time: cute, commiserating, convenient. But it did not live up to its promise, and now you have to face each other every pillow-faced morning and late night sweatsuit deli run. And the worst of it? When you’re holding hands with someone else and “Guess Who” rounds the corner. Awkward.

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The Neighbor Who "Sings" in Quotation Marks...and Oftener

Where is Simon Cowell when you actually need and want him? If you could get a hold of him, you’d send him straight to this poor girl’s shower. Even the bar of Irish Spring is ready to fling itself off the ledge.

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: by chelsea 10/17/2008 Reply

Ooooo I’m the singing neighbor, we know it’s annoying but we can’t help it. It’s our “gift”…..eee….I apologize to ALL previous neighbors.

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About The Author

aubreewyattsmith

Washington Heights

The name's Aubree Wyatt Smith. I'm a ten-year Manhattanite, writer/editor, and a day trip enthusiast. In my humble opinion, the best "bang-for-your-buck" day trip in the metro NYC area is a train trip to Sleepy Hollow. (In the Fall, of course.) -@