All You Have to Do is Fall

A lot of the more unusual piercings are going to get ripped out if you’re not extraordinarily careful. And yes, that hurts.

Lacings

So… get a whole row of piercings. Then tie them together with a string. Why lose one when you could do eight or ten in one fell swoop?

That's Not Jewelry

And then there’s things used as decoration that just aren’t.

Legos

Legos are children’s toys, not earrings. This stands doubly true for a Harry Potter character lego.

Wolverine

Not only is this an embarrassing comic book geek thing to do, there is absolutely no way to go about daily life with claws stuck through your hands.

Get Pierced

Here are my two places for piercing needs, one in Richmond, one in Boulder. Both are really clean and trustworthy.

Do Not Want

Many piercings also just serve to add to any preexisting undesirability.

Septum Piercing

The massive ring will make you, too, look like a bull.

Massively Gauged Ears

If I can see through the hole, it’s too big. Plus one day the plugs will come out and that’s going to turn into elephant ears.

Pregnancy Piercing

If you’re pregnant, just lose the belly ring already. This is not a good look.