Category: Misc.

Diary of a Junk Foodie in Denver

By Jessica H
updated 3 months ago

I'm not saying this is my diary. In fact, let's just say I happened upon it when leaving Whole Foods with my all natural, fresh produce-filled bag of organic goods that are fuel for the body, and not just a guilty pleasure. But I will say I don't think it's a coincidence we've got so much good food that's bad for us and so many people running or cycling every day to keep off those extra calories. Go ahead, say it's the good weather...we know it's the nachos! You're not fooling anyone.

Lime Restaurant the

1424 Larimer St, Denver, CO 80202

Dear Diary,
I told mom and dad I would go eat with them but we had to go somewhere healthy…I really want to lose this belly! Well, dad is demanding Mexican food, so I guess I can get grilled chicken. And If i don’t have a margarita or any chips, I’ll be fine. Wish me luck and I’ll let you know how it goes.
UPDATE: Spinach Queso counts as healthy because it’s got veggies, right?

Gabor's

1223 E 13th Ave, Denver, CO 80218

Dear Diary,
We have moved on from the ‘coffee’ dates and we are finally having real live, night-time, adult dates. I suggested Gabor’s, because, come on…it’s the best juke box in town. Not to mention the drinks are strong, the walls are covered in sexy pin-up girls, and we can play pool. Did I mention that their chips are are like crack? And when I say that I mean addictive. I have been there 3 times this month just for the chips. I hope I can get through one date without stuffing my face with junk food! Chips are made from potatoes and potatoes provide vitamins…I’m sure of it.

The Shoppe

3103 E Colfax Ave, Denver, CO 80206

Dear Diary,
It’s 9 p.m. on Wednesday night. I’ve got the munchies hard-core. I ran out of cereal last week. What do I do? Hold on, my celly is ringing. Ok..I’m back. That was Jane and she told me I can go get cereal at The Shoppe! I knew they sold cupcakes, but a cereal bar? Am I in Heaven? this could be very dangerous. I hope they have fruity pebbles.

Cherry Creek Farmer's Market

2500 E 1 St Ave, Denver, CO 80206

Dear Diary,
My date this weekend was fabulous. I am really starting to think I could go for this guy. We met at Peet’s in Cherry Creek for ‘coffee’....I’m sort of getting tired of the coffee date! Anyways, we had our lattes and decided to do a little window shopping around the center. I started to get hungry and suggested we visit the Farmer’s Market for all the fresh produce and food they have, but really all I wanted was that evil Kettle Corn! I hope he didn’t see through me, but I did inhale that entire box and ask if he was going to finish his. Maybe the organic brownie afterwards was too much?

Las Delicias

439 E 19th Ave, Denver, CO 80203

Dear Diary,
Holy mother, I have serious cramps. I’m about to turn into a prune because I’ve been in this bathtub for 2.5 hours(sorry for splashing you). After this, Jane said she’d be up for splitting the Carnitas Nachos at Las Delicias because once a month, who gives a crap? I deserve it! Nachos, here I come. I can taste the marinated savory pork and crispy chips with guacamole already.

Sputnik

7 S Broadway, Denver, CO 80209

Dear Diary,
I am completely hung-over. Last night Jane and I decided to do a pub crawl on South Broadway and we ended up playing Bingo at the Hi-Dive and drinking $1 Miller lites until midnight. I suggested we go next door to Sputnik to see if there was any live music, but I really just wanted one of their corn dogs. Man, they are so good…the batter is the perfect blend of sweet and salty and with the sweet potato fries….I thought for sure they would have soaked up all those beers. At least they were only a dollar because the cab ride cost us $15 together! Thank goodness it’s the weekend.

Steve's Snappin Dogs

3525 E Colfax Ave, Denver, CO 80206

Dear Diary,
Dana and Charlie came in from Chicago and he ALWAYS wants to compare Denver’s food to Chicago’s food. He wanted a chili-cheese dog. EWWWW! Why ruin a perfectly good dog when all it needs is mustard? He made me taste it, and while I’d never admit it, I love it so much I am waiting for the next excuse I have to get one! In private because it’s so messy and no girl in her right mind would eat one on a date!

The Horseshoe Lounge

414 E 20th Ave, Denver, CO 80205

Dear Diary,
I started playing trivia with a group of people from work and every Tuesday we end up at the Horseshoe. I LOVE this BAR! I feel like I’m in Vegas in the 70’s with the velvet sofas and tacky decor. I’m really playing trivia to add to my repertoire of useless knowledge, while socializing at the same time. Small problem. Two words. Tater Tots. When did I forget about tater tots? I grew up on those suckers and one day moved on. Well, damn you Horseshoe Lounge….you’ve got tater tots on the menu. Of course I order them every time. And of course I dip them in ranch. But I’ve only gotten them with cheese once. Or twice, MAYBE.