10 Ways, Real ways, to get women

10 Ways, Real Ways, to get a Women (Pt. 1)

10. Nice Guys Don’t Finish last,
because they don’t start.

Now percentage of us have sat with a
crying female who complains about her mean boyfriend, or how she
wishes he was nice as you are. Then that day comes when she leaves
that jerk and turns to you with a smile. As she walks towards you,
you have your arms open up wide to catch her, only to feel like a
loser as she walks pass you towards the next jerk. No matter what,
no matter who, all women say they want a nice guy but always follows
after the next jerk. Being nice gets you nothing except a thiner
wallet, and constant head-aces.

9. Beauty is in the eyes of the
beholder, to bad they get tired of holding

Percentage of woman say that they
don’t care what a guy looks like as long as he is nice, funny, smart,
and successful. This is obviously a bunch of lies to make them seem
more sincere. Truth is, women are hoping for their Knight in Shining
Armor. Little do they know that there is a reason why that guy is
wearing that Armor. It makes it easier to hide the hideous truth behind the
“shine.” If you don’t look like you can pose in a magazine then
chances are you aren’t as great.

8. If you walk straight, speak right,
and you’re generally a friendly guy, you lose.

For some strange reason the phenomenon
of ghetto life and red neck life continues to prosper even though
most of them don’t know what a ghetto is (ask someone of Jewish
decent) or a true red neck. Ghetto life members walk with a gimp,
their pants slide off, cheap fake jewelery dangles near their belts
that aren’t tightened for a strange reason, their shoes are whiter
then their teeth, their shirts can house a family of little people,
they act “hard” and mean to anyone nice and their car’s rims cost
more then their cars. Then there are the other type of guys who walk
like they rode a horse for hours, tight jeans, cheap fake jewelery
that dangles near their exceptionally large belt buckles, their shoes
are boots, and their shirts have something to do with the south. For
some reason most women find that attractive. Is it because of their
“bad boy” vibe or the philosophy of “cowboy butts, drive me
nuts” or is it because they know how to treat a woman? I’m pretty
sure it’s that stupid sense of Heroism that most women feel because
they believe they are that one person that can change that man. So
why would they want us when we don’t have any of these disabilities?

7. If you don’t have a kid with
another woman, chances is, you won’t have one with this new one.

Apparently woman are never bothered by
a man who has a kid with another woman. I guess the appeal that
since he already has a child, he must be good with kids. Because
those guys are usually good at lying, or in other circumstances,
“forgetful” to mention that they neglect child payments, neglect
the child, or the mother. This is a big turn on for women. Well,
the whole part that he knows how to deal with children. Unlike us
guys who prefer to wait to be married to have kids, or were smart
enough to practice safe sex, we’ll never get a chance with that cute
single mom with the adorable kids.

6. Only had sex with less then 10
women? Then you’re useless!

Never sure why this is such a turn on
for women but they like guys who have had intercourse with an entire
softball team of women. I guess the idea of an STD infested male
stirs up some sort of biochemical awakening in the women’s hormonal
attraction. So I suggest that you start whoring yourself up to get
more attention. Remember though, you must lie and said that you
loved each one.