This is THE pirate supply store. I don’t know exactly how to describe 876 Valencia to you in a way that will make sense unless you’ve been there. It’s a store that takes itself completely seriously, selling things you might need should the year be 1592 and you be sailing the ocean blue for the first time, perhaps for Portugal (ahh, that last year Portugal was relevant…), and like, you needed things like a bucket full of lard.

The website also has a “Store Log,” which tells it how it is. It’s really funny. March 20, 2008: “A woman just put her baby in the vat. The baby remained in the vat for three minutes.There is subsequently a lot of sand now on the floor.I am angry and amused.”

The Pirate Store also promotes kids learning how to read, which I totally support. Yay! They do tons of cool lessons, like how to be a pirate (these lectures can be found on the website), and also run a tutoring service for kids, which – for all you volunteers out there – can be applied for online.

Oh, did I mention this is the brainchild of Dave Eggers? He created the store and runs it as not only a pirate store, but as a magazine/publishing house. Things get curioser and curioser. It’s technically MCSWEENEY’S pirate store. Bah! I’m so confused!