Sometimes you wanna go where everybody doesn’t know your name, but they probably have a vague sense that at some point you either made out, or arm wrestled.

For me that place is The Colorado, and I’m seriously there too often for someone who neither plays pool nor smokes. Those fond of billiards, tobacco, and darkness will find a rare spot to meet, drink, and focus on short-term goals. (“Tequila at last call? Being drunk will help my commute go more quickly!”).

Before 9 you might wander in and think them happy to have your business, but it turns out you’re an arrogant alcoholic and there are plenty more where you came from. Said alkies often keep the place reasonably full past 11 on weeknights and packed on weekends, which affords the bartenders the luxury of taking no guff. Do what the Asian bouncer making cat noises says, or he will make you bleed.

I’m really not kidding.